Friday, February 15, 2013

Book 'Em, Danno

Started up by former New York Giant Tiki Barber and a business partner, Thuzio is a web-based service that enables Joe Sixpack, Mrs. Sixpack, their kids or anyone else who has the money and the inclination to spend time with a hero. It might be to have lunch together, or to play pickup basketball. It might be to  attend a game together or tee it up on the links or just about anything.

Among the athletes on the Thuzio roster is former Dartmouth quarterback Jay Fiedler, whose biggest claim to fame was following Dan Marino as the Miami Dolphin QB.

Click on Jay's Thuzio page and among other things here's what you will see:
Attend a game $1,500
Have an extra seat at the game? Jay will join you and give you and your guests insight on the game. Discuss Jay's career with the Dolphins and his trajectory to become a NFL player. (Up to 3 hours)
Appearance $1,500 per hour

Hire Jay to make a guest appearance at your next event! Jay's appearance will be the perfect way to promote your store opening, bank, gym, car dealership, etc.
Personal Coaching $300 per hour

Jay will be your personal coach giving you access to a NFL athlete. Jay will take you through NFL drills and plays. You'll learn firsthand what it takes to be a NFL player.

Camp $2,500
Jay will make a guest appearance as a coach at your camp for a full day, giving the players a glimpse of what it takes to be a professional football player. What better way to keep motivation levels high than to have a pro running drills for the day. (Up to 1 day) 
Jay also offers a round of golf ($2,000), speaking ($2,500 per hour) and group coaching ($500 per hour). Sorry, but Jay's "booking area" doesn't extend this far north. ;-)

For what it's worth, Brown grad and New York Giant Zak DeOssie will make an appearance at your fantasy draft for $2,500 (up to two hours), join you for lunch or dinner ($1,500 for up to two hours) and be a guest coach at $1,000 per hour.

If Fiedler or DeOssie doesn't do it for you, former heavyweight champion Larry Holmes, "will attend an event of your choosing for up to 2 hours," for $6,250 per hour. Former Yankee shortstop Bucky Dent will join you at a game of your choice for $4,000.

And competitive eater Kobayashi will "share stories from his career" while having lunch or dinner with you. Yes he'll be on the clock, but it will be 90 minutes, not 12 minutes, and you won't be eating hot dogs and soggy buns on Coney Island. He will eat with you only at one of three New York City restaurants, for $1,500. No word on who picks up the tab but I've got a pretty good idea.

Why, you can even book media members. Broadcaster Dick Stockton will attend your fantasy draft for $1,000 or "your birthday, bar/bat mitzvah, wedding, or anniversary party," for $2,000 if you live between Miami and West Palm.

Hmm, that gives me an idea . . .

Green Alert Take: I mentioned Stockton and the media because I was going to make a few jokes here about how a Certain Ivy League Internet Type would do this or do that for a mere pittance, but then I realized sometimes truth can be funnier than fiction.